This is a New Year?

01.11.05 (8:03 pm)

:wink: This week so far has not been good start for a New Year. I've been having back problems and it isn't going away. :roll: I started Physical Therapy this week, and I still say it should be call, "lets see how we can twist and bend you, and make you hurt some more" therapy. But I always get discourage and depress because this is a on going battle with my back. Sometimes I win, but most times I lose. :( So add to that, a fight I had with my better half, and that had me going down a path where I don't like to be. I won't bother you with my background, enough time for that later down the road,( I was once told that the reason I used to read so much Stephen King novels, was so I can forget the horrible past I came from). but I don't need much help in doubting myself and wondering what in the heck did I get myself into. But last night was different. While my other half and I hadn't talk to one another for at least 24 hours, I felt led to go through my jewelry boxes. And I must admit, I have at least 3 of them. Some good stuff, some costume, and some of it given to me by a girlfriend who was going into the mission field and just wanted to get rid of it. But as I was going through it all. I felt like a child playing dress-up. And I felt like I was given something I was never ever able to do as a child. And it was a blessing. And I even found something that meant a lot to me, but I thought I had lost it. And in the midst of all this, I felt Gods presence there with me. As if Jesus was sitting on the edge of the  bed with me. Smiling at all the remembrances that where coming to my mind. It was like finding a lost bury treasure. And all of it was mine, and I didn’t have to share. And then it was seeing how much was really old stuff, and yet it hadn’t allow time to age it appearance. It was still pretty and shining, and new. Then I was reminded when I was going through what I called a “growth period” in my life where God was doing some healing of my past. At that time I had gotten into a fight with my first husband, and I had gone to a department store, hoping to find a piece of costume jewelry, something that would lift my spirits. And I was asking God, (yes I do speak to Him, but I was thinking inside my head) “Tell me Father, what do you think is the prettiest one”, and I felt He had answer me back and said, “How can there be anything more beautiful than my creation?” Stun, not sure I had heard correctly,  I asked God to repeat to what He said, for I was not sure I had heard His response to me. And that is where I saw my heart, and with His hand, He carve on heart, the same words he had spoken to me, and after that, He wrote out my name. Needless to say, I didn’t buy any thing that night, and I don’t look to jewelry to make me feel pretty on the outside, so the inside of me can feel the same. So, as I gently put away my boxes, and Thank Jesus for His Presence, I was reminded that there isn’t anything too big that my Father God can’t handle. And he already knows what fears I am facing, I just need to remember that He is bigger that any issue that I may be facing, and He is always there beside me, guiding me, and waiting on me to hold up my arms and cry Abba Father, for He is there. To help me with the stones that needs to be moved in my life. Cause only He can moved them. After all, wasn’t He that created stones? And if He created them, doesn’t that mean He also knows how to moved them? Better than I possible could? So my freind, what stones do you have in your life, that is causing you not to see beyond it? P.S. my better half and I did make up! :oops: